Most Christians go through one or more periods in their life when God seems absent. We use different terms for this such as dryness, dark night, desolation, desert time, or wilderness time. John of the Cross (1542-1591) coined the term dark night of the soul to refer to these times in his book Dark Night of the Soul. Even great Christians in history we admire go through such times. For example, Martin Luther, C.S. Lewis, Mother Teresa, and Oswald Chambers. Bruce Demarest mentions the last three in his book Seasons of the Soul, which I highly recommend, beginning on p. 84. He also discusses desolation in general which is very helpful. (There is a link to this book on Amazon on our Resources page.) Walking through these times is very difficult and it is important to understand some basic principles so that it isn’t more difficult than it should be. More importantly, there are some great benefits to desolation that God wants to give us; it would be sad to miss out on them.
You have the advantage of learning from others’ mistakes. I think I’ve made most of the mistakes one can make in desolation. Hopefully, this post will help you minimize mistakes.
I will use the term “desolation” or “dark night” to refer to these times. By desolation I mean an extended time when the sense of God’s presence or blessing is gone, and it really hurts. A dark night of the soul is when desolation lasts more than about six months. A difficult trial in which you do sense God’s presence is not a dark night (though it is still Christforming). Also, desolation implies that you are not clinging to major sin; but you may have bad habits you are trying to overcome. In fact, desolation implies you have been seeking God and faithful, but now it doesn’t seem to “work”. Also, if you have been depressed much of your life, it is best to directly address that with an expert because this might make you think you are in a dark night when it is really another problem. But remember that desolation can throw you into depression; that is normal but don’t embrace it, just let it be and find friends.
Is desolation biblical? There isn’t time to go through all the scriptures but consider the short desolation Jesus experienced on the Cross when he said “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” For a much longer desolation read the book of Job and the way Job described his experience. In general remember that scripture teaches “we walk by faith, not by sight” (II Cor 5:7) which means we walk blind, or in darkness to our natural senses.
Here are some basic guidelines for walking through desolation or a dark night of the soul:
- Don’t fight it. Fighting it just consumes energy and makes it worse. The bad news is that it is very hard to stop fighting it. You will fail often. In fact, it is normal to never feel real peace until it is all over. Part of you will keep trying to connect to God because you desire Him. Therefore, just do the best you can and be satisfied with that. This is a test of your faith: to trust God and be satisfied with an imperfect situation that you can’t solve.
- Be brave and accept the darkness because God is using it to change you, especially to give you deeper faith!
- Related to the first point, accept the pain, accept the lack of assurance, accept that things are changing.
- Accept yourself with all the badness you find inside yourself, and even the bad things you find yourself doing (like getting angry or saying something hurtful). Accept the fact that it seems like you have less character.
- Find a spiritual counselor who understands desolation. This is very hard to do but keep trying. Your misery will probably not last as long and seeking help develops humility, as well as equips you to help others in desolation.
But what is the purpose of desolation? Why do I have to go through this? Here are three major areas God is working on in desolation:
- Purging us of deeper destructive corruption: destructive sensuality, unhealthy attachments, self-centeredness. (Lust of flesh, lust of the eyes, & pride)
- Growing our faith. In desolation we learn to trust God when things are dry or painful. This refines and deepens our faith. It teaches us not to let feelings be our primary guide. (But they are still important.) We are like a tree that puts down deeper roots in a dry season. God wants to give us deeper, lasting “feelings” of Himself when the season is done.
- He wants to “change the channel” we use to connect to him and connect at our deeper center. This is a deeper Christformation.
Finally, I want to say that I’m sorry if you are going through desolation or the longer dark night of the soul. It is not fun; it feels like you are separated from real life, and you feel helpless. It feels like you are in a dangerous place and that you are not a very good Christ-follower. It is very painful and I hope you find at least one friend you can tell all this to.
Are you in desolation now? How are you responding to it? Have you tried responding in the ways mentioned above?
