Category: Relationships

two friends shapening

Christformed Communication: Give Weight, Respond Accurately, Express Accurately.

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It is helpful to remember the basics of thoughtful speech. We should look people in the eyes, smile or have a positive facial expression, present a welcoming physical posture, be aware of their emotional state before we respond, watch carefully for their reactions, don’t be suspicious, use “I” language to express yourself, listen carefully and try to understand their thoughts, and ask clarifying questions. When we speak we want others to give weight to our words. Likewise, when others speak we honor them by giving weight to their words. They are expressing themselves, and even if they are doing it poorly we display how much God values them by considering their words and trying to understand them better. We are Jesus’ ears for them. Giving weight to others’ words is often the most important element of Christformed communication. Part of valuing others’ words is responding accurately. Our words should fit Continue Reading →

two friends shapening

The Power Of Our Words

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Who can doubt that our words are powerful yet excruciatingly difficult to control? Speaking to believers, James provides several graphic illustrations to make this clear. ​“If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” (James 3:2-5, NIV). Consider how much words from our parents shape our lives. Consider how much the right words from a friend have Continue Reading →

caring for others

Treating People In Our Care

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When it comes to the 2nd great commandment to love others (Matt. 22:39) we have a much greater responsibility to show active love when someone is in our care. Below are three examples of this. We are under a higher obligation with respect to our family and housemates. If you have a problem with angry outbursts or other habits harmful to the wellbeing of your family or housemates (for example, substance abuse, gambling, infidelity, insensitivity, wide mood swings, etcetera) then you are under great obligation to break that habit. Unfortunately, many neglect this obligation but God will not. Such people will suffer loss on judgment day (Col. 3:25; 2 John 1:8). One’s obligation in this situation includes finding someone to help them if they cannot break the habit themselves within a few months. Many think they are fulfilling their responsibility just because they want to break a habit and sometimes Continue Reading →

love your neighbor

How Do We Know That We Are Loving God?

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After stating that the greatest commandment was to love God, Jesus said that the second greatest commandment was to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39, NIV). He also said “Do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 7:12, ESV). Our love for others compels us to be the ones in our neighborhood who are known as the friendly neighbors always willing to help. Our love for others compels us to be the ones at our workplace who are honest, compassionate and patient with unreasonable bosses. In our recreation our love for others compels us to make friends, understand their hearts and be a source of encouragement. When we love others they aren’t bothered by our Christian holiness; they care about how we treat them. And Jesus asks us to go even further in the way we Continue Reading →

community

The Inspirational Story Of The Brethren Of The Common Life

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This is a story about some people who passionately lived out Christian community. In Scripture we see that God is inviting all people to join his new kingdom community. Since Jesus came and inaugurated this new community God has been calling people to himself and all who have received Jesus are members of this spiritual community. God has been adding members to this community through the centuries. After Jesus returns God will create a new heaven and new earth where all the members will live in the New Garden as God intended. This will be the culmination of the kingdom of God on earth. The story of Gerard Groote provides a good example of the kind of community God desires for his people now. Gerard Groote was born in 1340 in the Netherlands. His parents died of the plague when he was 10 and left him an inheritance. He was Continue Reading →