Category: Relationships

How To Love Your “Neighbor” Through Conversations

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Today I am posting a post from Michael Hyatt, former Christian publishing CEO about conversations. This is especially important during this holiday season when we have the opportunity to connect with our friends and family and establish deeper relationships. Hyatt’s post contains excellent advice about conversations, communication and valuing people in a truly Christian way. He doesn’t mention scripture or Jesus but for me it goes to the heart of the second great commandment established by Jesus: love your neighbor as yourself. Learning to love others is the essential sign of a Christian and learning how to communicate love and friendship are essential to loving others. Jesus was a master of loving communication and we can be too. Paul said our speech should be “seasoned”, in other words it should taste good. Whether we are talking with believers or unbelievers we can craft our speech to communicate the fruits of Continue Reading →

How Shame and Self-Rejection Affect Us

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Shame can be described as a sense of embarrassment, dishonor, disgrace or inadequacy. These feelings come from something you did or thought that contradicts what you believe to be good or valuable (this is essentially guilt which is a precursor to shame). Just the fact that we fall short of our own standards of good produces shame in all of us. We want to hide our weakness from others because we want them to value us. This is why it is normal for people to display their best self to others, which probably helps society stay civilized. But we also naturally display a false self in many situations, which keeps us from truly connecting with others. We use our false self to cover up our shame, for example, pretending that we have our life all together when actually we are broken or struggling. It takes time, but we need to Continue Reading →

A Vision For Community – Teaching Relationships In Our Churches And Schools

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Since Christianity is a relational faith and since Jesus said loving God and others are the greatest commandments it would make sense for churches and schools to teach classes focused on building healthy relationships. Many churches have classes for healthy marriages which is great, but what is needed even more is teaching on all types of relationships. Christians should become masters of relating to co-workers, neighbors, authorities, new acquaintances as well as friends and relatives. Christians should become skilled at saying the right thing at the right time. We should know how to speak words that resolve conflict and encourage others. People should remember us as someone who brings good things into their lives. Here are some ideas for creating a curriculum for building relationship relationships. Five areas of study could be: 1. Biblical teachings on relationships. Students would study the various biblical passages on relationships. Key passages would include Continue Reading →

Forces That Ruin Fellowship – Lesson From Second Century

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Why did koinonia and dynamic church life fade in Christianity? Many of us sense that church should be more relational and that everyone should be able to develop and exercise their spiritual gifts. Without this church seems more like a spectator experience (or a “busy-ness” experience) than a participation experience. By the end of the 2nd century several forces began to combine to reduce koinonia, or fellowship, in the Christian church. Fellowship became less important in the Church’s spiritual theology (the theology of spiritual growth.) Understanding these forces will help us to avoid the same problems today and recommit ourselves to true koinonia. As you read this list you might ask yourself if there are similar forces today that interfere with koinonia. Here is a list of some of the forces: 1. The Church was focusing on teaching proper doctrine so believers would not be led astray. Christianity was experiencing Continue Reading →

Three High Impact Ideas For Developing Community And Gifts In A Fellowship

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The Great Commandment to love God and love others has been emphasized in churches over the past fifteen years or so. Thus churches should be places where real community happens and where people can exercise their gifts for one another. Here are some ways churches can start redesigning their fellowships so that we can fulfill the Great Commandment. 1. Whole Person Inventory. This would be for churches that are committed to building relationships. It would be a set of written inventory “tests” that would help people know their personality, strengths, and weaknesses. Many quality tests exist for this. If a church gave each leader a Whole Person Inventory it would go a long way to helping people understand themselves and how they can be a part of a community. Pastors would be able to decide how best to help this person grow. Leaders would also discover any significant disorders they Continue Reading →