Category: Relationships

7 Tips To Developing the Discipline of Listening

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One of the most important elements of loving people is listening. For me this is a skill that always has room for improvement, but it is worth the effort and discipline because often it is the one thing that tells someone I care. In other words, it is essential to Christian love and Kingdom community. How we listen is a great indicator of how much we value relationships. Listening is a kind of death to self and a commitment to someone else’s well being. When I talk I love it when I can see someone is really listening and considering what I am saying, so that is the least I can do for others when they speak. True listening may be one of the highest of virtues, but many people are very weak on listening and unfortunately leaders are especially prone to being poor listeners (unless they are introverts). Here Continue Reading →

Am I Responsible For Other’s Happiness?

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I know it’s popular for Christian and secular counselors to say that others aren’t responsible for our happiness. But the fact is, they are. Not completely, but partly. That’s why Jesus and His apostles taught us to live in community. We are all partly responsible for each other’s happiness. If I constantly verbally abuse my wife it affects her happiness and I am responsible for that. James 3:5 (ESV) states : ” So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” The teaching that others are not responsible for my wife’s happiness puts all the burden on her to create her own happiness. For example, one popular Christian counselor who is otherwise very good recommends this teaching for a spouse : “I take sole responsibility for my beliefs with the understanding that they, Continue Reading →

Houston Mayor Part Two – Exploring Wise Cultural Engagement

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What should we expect of unbelievers? In this case it is fair to fight for freedoms guaranteed in our constitution. When the Phillipian officials sent a messenger telling Paul he could leave Paul said ” you’ve beaten and jailed us and we are Roman citizens, we aren’t just going to leave, the officials need to come and release us themselves” Acts 16:37 paraphrase. The officials were afraid because of Paul’s citizenship and rights and they came to apologize. But my idea is that in this particular case , and in every incident, it might be helpful to consider: what is the best way to achieve our goals? Our highest goal (after honoring God ) is changing the hearts of Americans to support religious freedom, if that doesn’t happen our freedom will fade no matter what we do. So in this case when an opponent has overreached like the mayor then Continue Reading →

Houston Mayor Subpoenas Pastors.

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I’m wondering if the Houston thing is really more of an opportunity than a problem. Maybe it’s a chance just to be Christlike or maybe if the pastors let the authorities come and take their speeches the pastors will be viewed as victims they are by most Americans and backfire on Houston. Maybe they would be justified in bringing an action against Houston for violation of civil rights, which could cost the city much, which would scare other local governments from ever trying to do anything similar.  I guess I’m just concerned about Christians screaming bloody murder instead of just calmly moving with what is happening and asking and looking for the opportunity God might be giving. Often it’s better to move with your opponent than against them, like in martial arts. Christians are getting a reputation for being shrill in our culture, which could end up backfiring on them. God Continue Reading →