Many of us will face seasons in our lives when we cannot sense God anymore. We will feel like he left us, or maybe doesn’t even exist. This usually happens after we have overcome most of our major external sins and then made considerable progress in loving God and others. But in spite of our progress, we still can’t connect with God. We think back to times when we felt God’s presence or could clearly see his activity in our lives. We remember the pleasure we had with God, especially during worship, reading scripture, or prayer. But suddenly our spiritual life seems dry or even dark. We don’t feel the enthusiasm for God we had before. Yet, there are many benefits of spiritual dryness.
This stage of the Christian life has been experienced and written about by many of the great Christian teachers since the earliest centuries. Some have called it “desolation”; in the 16th century John of the Cross called it the “dark night of the soul.” The great teachers saw it as an important and valuable time in a Christian’s life. So we can take comfort in the fact that our experience is both normal and a time of growth.
The important truth to remember during desolation is that God has not left us, rather, He is actually very close to us and He continually invites us into a deeper and more satisfying walk with Him. Therefore, it is important to focus on the benefits of desolation.
One of the main purposes of desolation is to put pressure on us to force the deep sins in our character to the surface and then to purge them. Maybe we have dealt with obvious areas of selfishness, but we have much deeper areas of selfishness that God wants to purge. Maybe we have dealt with basic issues of sensuality, but our sensuality goes all the way to our core and God wants to purge it. Maybe we don’t act as proud as we used to, but our pride still infects our character and God wants to kill it.
In desolation God is also trying to produce deep faith in us. He wants us to learn to trust him without needing to feel him or even sense him. This is a higher level of learning to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7, ESV). This is similar to a mature marriage where each spouse trusts the other implicitly and their faith does not depend on feelings or circumstances. In desolation God is also trying to produce humility, receptivity and complete submission to his will. These are profound changes in the center of our being.
Therefore, it is important to accept what we discover about ourselves. In desolation God is teaching us about ourselves, partly to purge deep sinfulness and harmful attachments and partly to Christform us so we can love him better and be a brighter light to the world. So, in desolation it is important to tell God that we let go of our grip on everything and ask him to cleanse us.
In desolation, it is essential to let go of trying to “make” God there or feel God. This may be very hard, but we will not get the benefits of desolation unless we do so. Letting go of our attachment to feeling God allows him to do what he wants. We need to develop faith that stands whether we feel God or not – and be at peace with that.
Thus, in prayer times during desolation it is often better to just let go of our agenda and focus on one word such as “faith”, or be quiet altogether. Just relax and accept what happens – this allows God to connect with a deeper part of us.
But it is also helpful to express our hearts in prayer. When Job suffered he poured out his honest heart and God honored him in the end. The Psalms are also helpful. Look through these two boos and find verses that help you express your heart. It is also very helpful to pour our hearts out to a wise counselor or director. It might be hard to find one who understands but it is worth it.
If you are in desolation, are you learning to embrace deep faith without any feelings of God? Are you open to God purging your deeper immaturity? Are you learning to completely submit to his will?
For more reading on this check out Bruce Demarest, Seasons of the Soul.
