Most Christians will face seasons in our lives when we cannot sense God anymore. We’ll feel like He left us, or maybe doesn’t even exist. This usually happens after we have overcome most of our major external sins and then made considerable progress in loving God and others. But in spite of our progress, we still can’t connect with God. We think back to times when we felt God’s presence or could clearly see His activity in our lives. We remember the pleasure we had with God, especially during worship, or reading scripture, or prayer. But suddenly our spiritual life seems dry or even dark. We don’t feel the enthusiasm for God we had before.
This stage of the Christian life has been experienced and written about by many of the great Christian teachers since the earliest centuries. Some have called it “desolation”; in the 16th century John of the Cross called it the “dark night of the soul.” The great teachers saw it as an important and valuable time in a Christian’s life. So we can take comfort in the fact that our experience is both normal and a time of growth.
The important truth to remember during desolation is that God has not left us, rather, He is actually very close to us and He continually invites us into a deeper and more satisfying walk with Him.
One of the main purposes of desolation is to put pressure on us to force the deep sins in our character to the surface and then to purge them. Maybe we have dealt with obvious areas of selfishness, but we have much deeper areas of selfishness that God wants to purge. Maybe we have dealt with basic issues of sensuality, but our sensuality goes all the way to our core and God wants to purge it. Maybe we don’t act as proud as we used to, but our pride still infects our character and God wants to kill it.
In desolation it helps to let go of trying to “make” God there or feel God. This may be very hard, but it is important. Letting go allows God to do what he wants. We need to develop faith that stands whether we feel God or not – and be at peace with that.
Thus, in prayer times it is often better to just let go of our agenda and be quiet. Just relax and accept what happens – this allows God to connect with a deeper part of us.
But it is also helpful to express our heart in prayer. When Job suffered he poured out his honest heart and God honored him in the end. The Psalms are also helpful. And it is very helpful to pour our heart out to a wise counselor or director. It might be hard to find one who understands but it is worth it.
Also, it is important to accept what we discover about ourselves. In desolation God is teaching us about ourselves, partly to purge deep sinfulness and harmful attachments. We can tell God that we let go of our grip on everything and ask him to cleanse us.
For more reading on this check out Bruce Demarest, Seasons of the Soul.
