Last week we looked at three foundational attitudes for humble leadership: thinking of oneself as a student, a servant, and a messenger. Together these attitudes form humility in us. Today we build on humility with more ideas that deepen humility and equip us for mature leadership, whether we lead as a parent, a spouse, an employee, or in ministry.
Truly Love People. This means our heart is committed to the well-being of the people we serve, with at least some measure of affection. If we don’t truly love the people, then we need to find a way to change our hearts or reconsider our calling.
Be Weak and Strong. We are a flower in the field but also an anchor in the storm. This sounds like a paradox but it actually makes a lot of sense. Jesus made himself vulnerable for the sake of the people he served, but he was, and is, a rock to all who believed. Likewise, Paul made himself vulnerable, physically and emotionally, for the people he served but he also exercised apostolic teaching and miracles for the churches he started. People need to see some of our weaknesses and how we deal with them. They also need to see us as an anchor they can count on. Here are Paul’s words from II Corinthians 12:8-10: “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ESV Paul exemplified humble leadership.
Be Reasonably Christlike. Many might resist this idea, but the reality is that if you can’t conduct your life in a reasonably Christlike way you may need to reconsider whether you should be in ministry, or at least whether you should take a break or get some serious help. I realize that some ministers don’t like the idea that they need to be an example; they plead that they are just sinners saved by grace. But this is not a biblical approach. Leaders are not just saved by grace, they are also “growing up into Christ” and should be examples. The fact is that modeling is the most powerful way to lead. If you want your people to be Christlike then you need to be Christlike, which includes humble leadership.
Paul was not afraid to challenge a leader to be a model. In I Timothy 4:7 Paul tells his protege Timothy to “train yourself to be godly.” Later in verse 12 Paul instructs him to “set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” In verse 15 Paul further endorses modeling by telling Timothy to “be diligent” so that “everyone may see your progress.”
We also have the qualifications of an “overseer” in I Timothy 3:1-4. If you are any kind of overseer of adults then it is important to ask if you satisfy these qualifications:
“Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.” (ESV)
Deal With Your Stuff. This might be my number one piece of advice for anyone who might lead, and any Christian. Many ministers don’t deal with their stuff and it puts a stranglehold on their church or ministry. Unfortunately, I have witnessed this all too often. Everyone suffers because the minister won’t be humble and find a qualified person to guide them through the changes they need. What will you say to God when he judges your life, and you were hurting other believers because you never dealt with the destructive issues in your life? Dealing with your stuff is the way to learn about true humility, the power and kindness of God, and how people really change. And it makes you compassionate and empathetic towards those you lead. Those around you will honor your humble leadership because they will respect your honesty and efforts toward change.
Death to Self. Dying to our own self-centeredness, desires for pleasure, and desire to control is fundamental to humble leadership. This doesn’t mean we should die to taking care of ourselves; obviously we need to take rest (Sabbath) and receive encouragement (there are many verses on this). There are dozens of scriptures on death to self and they are quite direct. Here are just a few:
- Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” NASB
- Luke 9:23-24 “And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.” NASB
- John 12:24: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” NASB
Find a mentor (i.e., coach/director/pastor) who will actually form you. Find someone who will apply all the above principles to your life. Some mentors won’t hold you accountable and will stay away from convicting you of sin. Others can’t or won’t get into your life to figure out what sins or weaknesses you actually have. A few go too far the other way and are too harsh. Find someone who is compassionate as well as serious about holiness and Christformation. A mentor should be continuously leading you into humble leadership, whether it is in your family, at work or in ministry.
I have seen some leaders who were “mentored” by big name Christian leaders who did not address the core issues in their “student’s” life. They remained in immaturity or crashed morally from longstanding issues that should have been addressed. It is not easy to find a good mentor. It will take some time. Perhaps ask around for someone who is knowledgeable about spiritual formation. Or find someone who has a reputation for being able to successfully mentor people to maturity. If you can’t find anyone start calling around and see if you can find help through phone or video calls. You can also visit the Evangelical Spiritual Directors Network for licensed directors (usually $40 – $60/hr), but be sure to ask if they will apply the above principles.
If you humbly seek God and stay open to change you can be a godly leader who builds on the foundation of Christ with “gold, silver, precious stones” and “receives a reward” from God! (I Corinthians 3:12-15) Pursuing humble leadership is well worth the struggle.
