One of the biggest barriers to spiritual growth is the desire to please people more than God. This is a constant temptation for all of us. People are right in front of us. We can see their faces and we don’t want to disappoint them. And if we have a big heart for people then we are even more tempted to please them before we please God. It is hard to put into words how enormous this problem is.
We watch unbelievers live wasted lives because they want to win the approval of people around them. They compromise and live meaningless lives because that’s the environment they are in and they want the approval of others. And there are plenty of people willing to give them this approval. Paul describes this in Romans Chapter 1 where he first lists various sins then says people who do them are “foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless” (Rom. 1:31, ESV) then adds that “they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them” (Rom. 1:32, ESV). People will trade their soul for this approval.
Humans have a powerful need to belong. For most, loneliness is a kind of hell. We are magnets looking for others to bond with in order to find companionship and self-value. This means that we need to be vigilant about the way our desire to please others is influencing us. In American society it has become so extreme that it is common to let a friend continue in their self-destructive life instead of “offending” them by telling them the truth.
God is moving us towards the perfect community of love with himself and his followers on the New Earth, but when we please others first we step away from this trajectory.
Likewise, it is very tempting for us to please our coworkers, our Christian friends, the members of our home group, our spouse, our pastor, and people we are responsible for instead of pleasing God first. But this only produces false relationships and wastes our energy. God is moving us towards the perfect community of love with himself and his followers on the New Earth, but when we please others first we step away from this trajectory. The bride turns away from the Bridegroom. We elevate humans above God which is idolatry.
In order to defeat our hunger for pleasing people it is helpful to face the fear of rejection. What exactly will you lose if you don’t please them? Will you be okay if they are upset with you? Remember that accepting rejection is part of the Christian life. Hebrews 13 explains that Jesus took on shame when he was sacrificed outside the city of Jerusalem, so “let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore” (Heb. 13:13, NIV).
Jesus assumed we would be rejected for following him, but he also promised his followers: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven” (Matt. 5:11-12, NIV). Even if other believers reject us for putting God’s interests above theirs, we have an eternal reward far beyond anything we could gain by pleasing them. It is always worth it to please God first.
