Who can doubt that our words are powerful yet excruciatingly difficult to control? Speaking to believers, James provides several graphic illustrations to make this clear.
“If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” (James 3:2-5, NIV).
Consider how much words from our parents shape our lives. Consider how much the right words from a friend have meant to us. Consider how much the words of Scripture radically transform our lives. This is why it is important to master our tongues; our words have the power to encourage and bless others. When we consider how little effort it takes, it is quite amazing that a few well-chosen words can infuse value or confidence into someone else’s heart.
Of all the creatures he made on Earth we are the only ones made in his likeness. We are reflections of his virtue, intellect, leadership and creative powers. Consider too that God used words to create the universe and to create the Garden of Eden. We too have the gift of words that can create or destroy. And God bestowed on humans the high honor of developing and managing the Earth. Considering the dignity of humans, should we not pursue greater maturity in our words to others?
We know that Jesus prioritized relationships and taught us that our lives will be judged according to how we treat others. Relationships are the bonds in the body of Christ and the pathway to drawing others into the kingdom. Communication is essential to relationships because that is how we reveal ourselves to others and express our attitudes towards them. Unless the other person knows who I am, they cannot have a friendship with me because they do not know me. We build friendships by revealing ourselves: our thoughts, feelings, desires, history, weaknesses, hopes, fears and joys. We attract or repel others by expressing our attitudes towards them. We attract with kindness, patience, concern, and encouragement. We alienate others with control, defensiveness, anxiety, suspicion, insecurity, self-centeredness and opposition.
God makes love the supreme value and goal in creation. Love is a relationship. Relationships require mutual self-revelation. Communication is the primary means of self-revelation. And being able to understand the other’s heart – “putting ourselves in their shoes” – is central to healthy communication. God, the Son modeled this last idea in the Incarnation which was the ultimate act of empathy. Thus, communication is the critical link to growing God’s community of love.
