Scripture teaches that we are to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor” (Eph. 4:25, NIV). Honesty is a greater challenge when it comes to pointing out an uncomfortable truth that others are ignoring, which is important for moving to elder-level maturity. For example, if someone we are close to or have responsibility for is harming others or themselves with attitudes, words or actions then do we not have a duty before God to say something? “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6, ESV).
Sometimes we need to speak up even when there is no intention to harm. For example, if our congregation or ministry is having a problem and no effective solutions are being implemented, then we need to speak the truth and point out the negligence. Groups tend to ignore uncomfortable root issues or adopt low-pain solutions that have little hope of success. Consistent inefficiency or irresponsibility needs to be exposed. Silence is complicity and dishonest. The situation is even worse when junior leaders do not speak out when they see their senior leader moving in the wrong direction. The people they serve are depending on the junior leaders to pinpoint issues in senior leadership that others may not see. Silence displeases God and hurts people.
Our challenge in such cases is knowing how to be diplomatic and kind when we point out faults. We can do this by pointing out whatever is still good about the situation, complementing others’ motives, acknowledging and affirming the distress that people are feeling, then gently speaking the truth in the form of a question. This is “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15, ESV).
Yet, no matter how gentle and encouraging you are, you may still be rejected. You may end up with fewer people to teach or pastor. That is just part of the cost of following Jesus who was killed for speaking truth. Rejoice, and join with Paul in saying that this happens so “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Phil. 3:10, ESV). This is a badge of being a disciple of Jesus.
