Authentic relationship with God grows in community, but it also requires solitude. We need time to shut everything else off and just be with God in Christ. In solitude we can focus on giving to God and receiving from him. In solitude we can meditate on Jesus and on scripture which produces deep change in us. In our meditation we should frequently remember all that God has given us. In meditation we also open up to the sins and weaknesses God wants to purify.
It is hard to find time for prayer and meditation in solitude, but if you cut out trivial conversations and activities then you will find enough time. Then you must determine a way to find solitude, just as Jesus did early in the morning. Find a time and place where you can escape.
It is in solitude that our relationship with God grows deep and strong. Just as a child wants to be alone with his or her father and receive exclusive attention so to we should desire to be alone with our Father and receive his exclusive attention. And as a loving Father, he also wants our exclusive attention. How can we build a relationship with him unless we have individual conversation with him? This is when we pour out all our desires, and gratefulness, and fears, and weaknesses, and needs, and love. This is what bonds us with him.
“desire to be alone with our Father and receive his exclusive attention”
In solitude God transforms us so we can help others. If we want to speak edifying words to others then we should learn to listen for edifying words from God. If we are to lead others then we need to learn to love to follow Jesus. If we are to give direction to others then we should learn to receive God’s direction. We may not hear distinct communication from God, but often we sense his idea, or insight, or direction.
In solitude with God we are forced to know the state of our conscience. Even if others highly esteem us we will still find corruption inside us, which breaks down our self-sufficiency and produces humility. As we open up to God he will restore us in the face of our faults. Then our clear conscience will be free to honestly rejoice in God and even be bold and humble with others.
In solitude we can learn to let go of the cares and pleasures of the world. As we reject worldly cares our destructive passions lose strength and we experience fewer impulses to sin. We also find peace as we detach our hearts from things that toss us around and plant anxiety in us. In solitude we learn to refocus on things above and we commit ourselves to live fully surrendered to God. (This post is partly based on chapter 20 of the classic The Imitation of Christ.)
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